Issues for Women (or Minorities) in Leadership Research Paper

Issues for Women (or Minorities) in Leadership - Research Paper Example However, leadership is never an easy task. It takes great amount of skills and abilities to become a successful leader. Although there is no clear and definite description of a successful leader, there are some qualities which are required in a person for him/her to be a good leader. First of all, a leader needs to have a vision in his mind and should be able not only follow it, but also share it with his team members. Besides this, the leader needs to practice integrity, be dedicated towards the organization or the task, have creativity and be open to criticism and new ideas. Lastly, the leader also needs to be humble and fair towards others (Hakala, 2008). When it comes to being in the role of a leader, women are much different than men. Not only do men and women differ in their leadership styles, there is also considerable difference in their vision, approach towards problems and thinking patterns. However, being different does not mean that women are incapable of being successful leaders. There are several examples of women leaders who have been praised a lot for their leadership skills. But, on a mass scale, men still dominate in the capacity of leadership. This is because of a number of issues women face in leadership. Firstly, women in the social and cultural structure are seen to be less dominating than men. This is seen by the predefined notions and the practices which maintain a system of power in the society. This social structure has the tendency to shape decisions, interactions and social relations. As a result, researches have revealed that men and women draw out different responses from the people around them. The difference is primarily due to the above stated cultural and social factors. Hence, women leaders stimulate different reactions than male leaders because of preconceived expectations. This makes it very difficult for a

Women's Rights Research Paper Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Women's Rights - Research Paper Example Criminal justice system is in the front line in addressing harm to girls and women. Women and girls across the world face violation, sexual harassment, and abused. They do not feel safe at home, in the streets, workplace or even on public transports. As a result, the women live in fear. They do not live their lives entirely. They need equality and respect. Their rights are discriminated even by their families. It has been on media of parents who rape their daughters. The law is working on such cases (Thomsen 54). Considering acknowledgment of women and their rights, every woman, just as a man has the right of control over their bodies. Throughout the world, girls and women end up forced into cultural practices that are harmful to their health, and cause them so much pain. Some of these practices include female genital mutilation, early or forced marriage, and even sex-selective abortion. All these methods need consideration to protect the female human species (Mousset 77). The woman’s place in the house being in the kitchen has denied women their freedom even in their homes. The notion that women are housewives, and only contributing to domestic matters has denied them the chance to develop economically. We tend to forget the fact that women are just human as anyone else. Is it true that what a man can do, a woman can do better? Keeping this in mind, the rights of women need respect (Walter 44). In history, it was until the late 18th century when women’s right became fundamental in political debates. Most of the intellectuals defended the democratic principle of equality. In contrary to this, philosopher Jean-Jacques thought that it was an obligation for women to obey men. He went ahead to justify the argument that women make mistakes to complain about the inequity of the existing laws. He discriminates women as compared to men (Adams 31). The first article in the assertion of the rights of female citizens and women highlighted that just

How Does Nutrition Affect Athletic Performance Physical Education Essay

How Does Nutrition Affect Athletic Performance Physical Education Essay Athletes are dedicated to their sport. They exercise daily, train with professionals, lift weights, engage in team practices, and compete against one another. All this commitment is made in an effort to make the human body work more efficiently. Continuous exercise and training, conditions the muscles to work better alongside the bones. For example, baseball pitchers would want to train the muscles in the arm to throw a blazing fast pitch, long distance runners would work to control the respiratory system in order to finish strong at the end of an extensive race, and football players build on agility and muscular endurance sequentially outrunning the opponent. The current generation of athletes has caused competition in sports to reach unprecedented levels. However, the burning question remains, are athletes consuming the right foods to fulfill their activities? Adequate nutrition is an integral aspect to athletic performance. Athletes that demand a higher performance in their respec tive sport and training should have a high nutritional value in relation to their activities. It is critical to maintain a balanced, healthy diet at all times in order to achieve maximum performance. A good diet with adequate nutrition such as vitamins, minerals, protein and water in terms of the proper amounts of calories support activities. Athletes acquire energy from the foods they eat. Food can be further divided into two categories: macronutrients and micronutrients. Macronutrients supply an athlete with direct sources of energy for daily life activities and physical exercise. Macronutrients include proteins, carbohydrates, and fats  [1]  . Micronutrients aid in the processes of life, such as digestion and food metabolism. Although they are not able to provide energy, they are essential in generating energy for the human body. Some examples of micronutrients are vitamins and minerals  [2]  . Protein is a macronutrient involved in many chemical processes of life. Proteins are specialized for different organs and species. Proteins are combinations of amino acids that combine in various ways to make muscle, bones, tendons, skin and many other tissues. When proteins are broken down by the body at ingestion, amino acids are formed. There are 20 amino acids which help form human proteins, however only 9 are essential. Meaning 9 out of the 20 proteins are supplied by the food we eat, because the human body is unable to produce them through synthetic processes in the cell. Protein is one of the components in body tissues, necessary for cellular growth and repair, as well as in hormones, enzymes, the immune system, and bodily fluids  [3]  . Athletes need protein primarily to repair and rebuild muscle that is broken down during physical exertion. Working out breaks down muscle fibers and the body has to quickly rebuild those fibers for future performances. Through the process of restoration the body synthesizes proteins. The muscle fibers broken down during training will strengthen over time as adequate amounts of protein are ingested to facilitate the growth process  [4]  . Protein is the last source of energy used when other macronutrients are available. When the body lacks adequate carbohydrates, the body turns to protein as a source of fuel for physical activity. During extreme physical activity, muscle tissue becomes an energy source because there is an insufficient amount of fat and carbohydrates consumed. Therefore it is necessary to maintain an adequate protein intake everyday, to make up for the protein lost in the muscle tissue during an increase in intensity or length of training  [5]  . Research has shown an amino acid known as creatine, can help enhance athletic performance. Derived from other amino acids, glycine, arginine, and methionine, creatine is stored in the skeletal muscle as creatine phosphate. The job of creatine phosphate is to help facilitate the production of energy. With an increased store of creatine phosphate in the body, the ability to produce energy during high intensity training is improved. This is a result of muscles in the body that have the ability to store a greater amount of creatine than what athletes consume from their diet. Athletes can obtain creatine primarily from meat and fish  [6]  . Carbohydrates are the primary fuel for the exercising muscles and are essential for supporting the training and performance of an athlete. They are the major energy source for anaerobic and aerobic activity. Carbohydrates are broken down into glucose molecules and stored in our skeletal muscles and liver as glycogen. The amount of glycogen stored affects stamina and endurance. After an athlete is done training, glycogen is released from the liver into the bloodstream to restore the glucose levels in the blood, and glucose is transported to cells for energy  [7]  . If the blood glucose levels are low, athletes may feel irritable, tired, and lack concentration, interfering with their performance. Glycogen stored in the skeletal muscles provides fuel for the exercising muscles during high and low-intensity activities. There are limited carbohydrate reserves in the body and exercising causes the glycogen stores to become depleted very quickly. During exercise, if muscle cells run out of glycogen, the muscles lack energy and fatigue sets in. Performance suffers accordingly, but will vary depending on the sport and its intensity  [8]  . Therefore, daily carbohydrate consumption and training is necessary to maintain glycogen for optimal performance. In order for athletes to obtain enough energy to maximize athletic efforts, carbohydrates also aid in fat metabolism. The presence of carbohydrates is essential in utilizing fat for energy, associating with the old saying, à ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬Ãƒâ€¦Ã¢â‚¬Å"fat must burn in a carbohydrate flameà ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬Ã‚ Ã‚  [9]  . Increased fat-burning helps to conserve carbohydrates in the muscle, therefore the stored up amount is used to support athletes in later activities  [10]  . In general, endurance athletes use up more carbohydrates than athletes that use carbohydrates for strength and power. This is because endurance athletes are participating in physical activity over a longer period of time, meaning a grea ter amount of carbohydrates is required by the body to supply it with energy over the duration. On the other hand, athletes involved in strength and power events require fewer amounts of carbohydrates to supply a sudden burst of energy for powerful, but short-lived physical activities  [11]  . Adequate intake of carbohydrates will prevent the body from extracting other macronutrients from their desired jobs to become fuel for activity. Ideal sources of carbohydrates include whole-grain cereal, pasta, brown rice, and brown bread products. As part of a healthy diet, athletes should include at least two carbohydrate-rich foods accompanying each meal, and at least one with every snack  [12]  . Prior to competitions, athletes like to load muscles with glycogen to delay fatigue that occurs during endurance events. A diet that contains highly nutritious carbohydrates, covering 55-65% of total calories, is sufficient enough to provide adequate glycogen storages that will help support the athlete over the duration of their performance  [13]  . Fat is the predominant fuel source during prolonged exercise. The body has an unlimited storage capacity for fat, making it the largest reserve of energy in the body. It is integral for many metabolic processes such as energy production, synthesis of vitamin D, cholesterol, hormones, and transporters of lipid soluble vitamins. Fat can be classified into two categories based on its structure: unsaturated and saturated fats. Unsaturated fats are obtained from plant sources. Advantages of unsaturated fats include lowering cholesterol and reducing the risk of heart disease. Saturated fats on the other hand, come from animal sources and cheese. Saturated fats are not recommended in large consumption to athletes, because an excess of this macronutrient will raise cholesterol and/or lipid levels in the blood which can lead to the development of heart-related diseases  [14]  . However, fats do hold a place in sports nutrition. Fats are less oxygen-rich, and they can release a greater amo unt of energy at a greater speed than other nutrients. This can provide an athlete with a concentrated source of energy. Fat is essential for longer and lower intensity, endurance exercise. Another role that fats play in the human body is insulation. Fats assist in insulating and protecting vital organs and parts of the body  [15]  . Athletes can obtain fat from food sources such as milk, butter, meat and oils  [16]  . Athletes need to keep in mind to carefully monitor the type and the amount of fats they eat. Vitamins are essential micronutrients athletes need to produce energy. Vitamins mostly come from the food we eat, with the exception of vitamin D. Instead of participating in the metabolic processes of nutrients, vitamins help to regulate the reactions in metabolic processes. They are responsible in facilitating energy release and synthesizing bone and tissue. Absence of a vitamin prevents certain metabolic processes from occurring in the cell, which eventually affects the metabolic balance in the body, as a whole  [17]  . Another micronutrient occurs naturally on earth. It is found in the water, soil, and the plants of Earth. This micronutrient is known as the mineral. There are seven key minerals: calcium, potassium, phosphorous, magnesium, sodium, chloride, and sulphur. Two minerals that are important for athletes are iron and calcium. Iron is a main component in the blood. It is critical for red blood cell formation, function and myoglobin composition. Iron operates in the blood as an oxygen carrier, a key role in sport performance. If iron levels are low in athletes, they can develop fatigue, poor appetite and an increase in resting pulse rate. This occurs because an insufficient supply of oxygen is distributed to parts of the body. Oxygen combines with glucose to form ATP molecules, the main source of energy for the muscles. The greater amount of ATP stored in the muscles, the more powerful they will be when it performs work. Low iron levels in the blood mean that muscles do not receive enough ox ygen to support exertion. This results in lactic acid being produced and the athlete endures pain and fatigue in the muscles. However, excess amounts of oxygen in the body help athletes to metabolize lactic acid back into useful energy molecules after exercise. This allows the muscles of athletes to recover faster and be able to carry out physical activity again without having to rest for long periods of time. Iron can be obtained from many food sources, such as cereals, red meats, and bread products  [18]  . When athletes want to develop stronger bones, they need to consume calcium in their diets. Calcium is a micronutrient from the popular dairy food group, comprised of milk, yogurt and cheese. Ninety-nine percent of the calcium in our body is stored in the skeletal system, while the remaining one percent is accumulated in the muscle cells  [19]  . When muscles are at work, calcium ions are released to trigger muscle contraction. Calcium ions are released into the sarcoplasm and then they find their way to attach onto the troponin molecules. Without the attachment of troponin molecules and calcium, the interaction of actin and myosin leading to muscle contraction will not occur. Thus, if muscle contractions are not generated, athletes are unable to perform their activity  [20]  . Low calcium levels in the body are in relation to developing low bone density. This causes the bones of the body to become more fragile and vulnerable to stress fractures, as the limiting amount of calc ium will be used for muscle contraction. Therefore in order for athletes to withstand intense physical activity, an adequate amount of calcium is essential in their meals  [21]  . Finally, athletes need to stay hydrated for optimal performance. The human body consumes energy during physical exercise and creates heat. Bodily temperature would rise drastically causing the body to overheat, if heat was not released. In conjunction with the release of heat, the bodyà ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¾Ã‚ ¢s sweat glands discharge fluid to the surface of the skin, where it eventually evaporates. This overall process occurs in an effort to cool the body. However, this leaves the body dehydrated  [22]  . Water comprises 50-60 percent of the weight of human bodies  [23]  . This portion of water in the human body helps to regulate heat and maintain a constant body temperature. Water helps to transport nutrients to cells and extract waste products. Water distributes the heat generated by physical activity throughout the body and enables the body to perspire. Fluids, not just water, are lost when humans perspire, urinate, defecate, and respire. A constant replacement of fluids is necessary for the human body to continue to operate and achieve its optimal performance. Research has shown that when athletes sweat, they lose 1-2% of body weight which is linked to a decrease in blood volume. This process causes the heart to work harder to circulate the blood, resulting in muscle cramps and dizziness  [24]  . Athletes establish proper hydration by drinking the right fluids during physical activity. This means drinking fluids properly throughout the day when thirsty, and especially before an activity begins. In the course of a long competition, where fluid is being lost in sweat, sport drinks are good sources of electrolytes. The sodium levels in the drinks are ideal replacements of sodium secreted in sweat. Low sodium levels can affect concentration. In general it is not advised for athletes to drink sport drinks such as Gatorade, on a regular basis or every time they participate in physical activity. These fluids can interfere with the body absorbi ng the proper nutrients and encourages thirst in the individual  [25]  . The principle that underlies healthy eating and enhancing sports performance is maintaining a balance between food consumption and the amount of energy that is going to be used for work. Since athletes participate often in physical exercise, they will need to absorb more energy in the foods they eat. The following principle is expressed as an energy equation: Energy storage = Energy intake à ¢Ãƒ ¢Ã¢â‚¬Å¡Ã‚ ¬ Energy output. Energy storage represents the amount of energy left in the body after the amount of energy used is reduced from the amount of energy taken in by the body. If athletes absorb insufficient amounts of energy from food sources, optimal performance will not be achieved. Muscles will weaken without nutrients and negative health effects become a concern for athletes  [26]  . Athletes spend many hours training and undergoing physical activity so the body can excel in sports performances. It is important that athletes keep their bodies nourished in order to supply fuel for athletic endeavours. Athletes need to develop a focus on maintaining proper nutrition, so the hours spent during physical activity and rest are not subjected to waste. Good nutritional habits are necessary to achieve optimal physical performance, however it does not mean that we should categorize foods as good or bad. To maintain a healthy lifestyle, athletes should consume foods from various food groups and make better food choices at the same time. Daily food choices should include macronutrients such as protein, carbohydrates, and fat, micronutrients such as vitamins and minerals, and most importantly fluids, such as water. Athletes are better equipped to meet their maximum athletic potential if the right foods are taken in the right amounts to fuel the body. Great athletic accomplish ments are determined by great nutrition.

Formation Of False Memories :: essays research papers

Have you ever been an eyewitness at the scene of a crime? If you were, do you think that you would be able to accurately describe, in precise detail, everything that happened and remember distinct features of the suspect? Many people believe that yes they would be able to remember anything from the events that would happen and the different features of the suspect. Some people, in fact, are so sure of themselves after witnessing an event such as this that they are able to testify that what they think they saw was indeed what they saw. However, using an eyewitness as a source of evidence can be risky and is rarely 100% accurate. This can be proven by the theory of the possibility of false memory formation and the question of whether or not a memory can lie.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  There have been several experiments done to try to prove that false memories can indeed be formed. One experiment, for example, was tried with a 14-year-old boy. The boy was told four memories, one of which was falsely constructed but similar to that of a true memory. The memories that were suggested took place when the boy was about 10 years younger. As the false memory was retold to him, he was asked to explain in detail what he had remembered from that event. Surprisingly, he claimed to remember the event, even though it was falsely created by the interviewer and his brother, and went on to explain what he remember to have happened, details and all. After collecting everything he had said about the four memories, he was told that one of the suggested memories was made-up and he was asked to guess which one it may have been. When he couldn’t decide which one it was, he was told that it was in fact the memory of getting lost in a store. He was confused and had trouble believing the truth.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Similar studies were done to a different set of college students and they tended to have the same results. After giving as much detail about each memory, the students were interviewed about what they may have written done about what they had remembered. During the last part of the experiment, each of the students were debriefed and asked to guess which memory they believed was false.

Identity and Belonging

38 A Postcolonial study of Identity Crisis in Mohsin Hamid’s the Reluctant Fundamentalist Daryoosh Hayati Islamic Azad University, Iran Abstract: This essay will present a postcolonial study of Mohsin Hamid’s the Reluctant Fundamentalist. The basis for this research paper is the postcolonial theories of Edward Said, Fanon and Homi Bhabba. The aim is to question simply and sardonically the human cost of empire building, moreover it is discussed how the people in a totally alien culture are faced with different cultural predicaments, dilemmas as well as contradictions threatening their identity.Identity is supposed to be stable, while as this novel indicates, it is at risk due to the cultural conflicts as a result of which identity and ethnicity are subjected to change for the benefit of the hegemony. In line with Edward Said’s: â€Å" the East writes back† it is shown how this novel is a reaction to the discourse of colonization and welcomes de-colonization . Moreover it reflects the laments of the author for the terrorist label attributed to Muslims, in terms of globalization, supported by the hegemony and interpreted as essentialism.Key words: globalization, identity, postcolonial, binary oppositions, otherness, hegemony, hybridity and ethnicity. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 39 Introduction: Post colonialism deals with the aftermath of colonialism. It is about the painstaking struggle of being independent. The society is no longer being oppressed; they are independent, free to be themselves again.However they’ve changed, their culture has changed now they need to figure out who they really are. In other words they are faced with identity related choices. Ex-colonies are to choose either to make an attempt to restore the original culture, or conform to the existing c olonizers’ culture or the creation of a new culture which combines both. In other words such nations are encountered by difficult decisions to make. Either to assimilate or dissimilate is the existential condition ex-colonies are exposed to. Such a question faces the ex-colonies with an unresolved predicament.The assimilation and adaptation of cultural practices, the cross-fertilization of cultures, can be seen as positive, enriching, and dynamic, as well as oppressive. â€Å"Hybridity† is also a useful concept for helping to break down the false sense that colonized cultures — or colonizing cultures for that matter — are monolithic, or have essential, unchanging features. The growth of â€Å"hybridity†Ã¢â‚¬â€the dissolution of rigid cultural boundaries between groups hitherto perceived as separate, the intermixture of various identities, in effect the dissolution of identities themselves.Much anthropology in this field demonstrates how identities have been and are invented, reinvented and shaped for political and other purposes, out of disparate historical and cultural experiences. Other studies have repeatedly shown that identities are driven with contradictions and are not to be understood as seamlessly unified comprehensive cultural entities, therefore impossible to go back to the original one. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II.Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 40 Identities owe their formation and position in society to the operation of social, economic, cultural, and political forces that are inseparable from the forces that create and maintain socioeconomic groups. In this view, rather than being opposed, identity politics and class politics, while distinct, have the potential to be allied actors in a common political process.The three most influential theorists whose ideas regarding the causes o f the oriental identity being changed include: Fanon, Bhabha and Edward Said according to whom: ‘The Orient was almost a European invention, and had been since antiquity a place or romance, exotic beings, haunting memories and landscapes, remarkable experiences †¦ The Orient is nor only adjacent to Europe; it is also the place of Europe’s greatest and richest and oldest colonies, the source of its civilizations and languages, its cultural contestant, and one of its deepest and most recurring images of the Other.In addition, the Orient has helped to define Europe (or the West) as its contrasting image, idea, personality, experience. Yet none of this Orient is merely imaginative. The Orient is an integral part of European material civilization and culture. Orientalism expresses and represents that part culturally and even ideologically as a mode of discourse with supporting institutions, vocabulary, scholarship, imagery, doctrines, even colonial bureaucracies and col onial styles’†¦. ideas, cultures, and histories cannot seriously be understood or studied without their force, or more precisely their configurations of power, also being studied. To believe that the Orient was created – or, as I call it, â€Å"Orientalised† – and to BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 41 believe that such things happen simply as a necessity of the imagination, is to be disingenuous. The relationship between Occident and Orient is a relationship of power, of domination, of varying degrees of a complex hegemony’. Said, pp 30-35 and 60) Frantz Fanon stands as the second outstanding critic in the field whose ideas, together with those of Bhabha and Said provide a strong basis for the study of cultural influences in the field: ‘This cultural obliteration is made possible by the negation of national reality, by the new legal relations introduced by the occupying power, by the banishment of the natives and their customs to outlying districts by colonial society, by expropriation, and by the systematic enslaving of men and women †¦ Every effort is made to bring the colonized person to admit the inferiority of his culture which has been transformed into instinctive patterns of behaviour, to recognize the unreality of his â€Å"nation,† and, in the last extreme, the confused and imperfect character of his own biological structure. ’( Fanon, p. 58) Last but not the least, attention must be directed toward the theories Homi K. Bhabha known as Hybridity and the â€Å"Third Space†: ‘It is that Third Space, though unrepresentable in itself, which constitutes the discursive conditions of nunciation that ensure that the meaning and symbols of BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue â₠¬â€œ II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 42 culture have no primordial unity or fixity; that even the same signs can and be read appropriated, anew’†¦. ‘The translated, Western rehistoricized metropole must confront its postcolonial history, told by its influx of postwar migrants and refugees, as an indigenous or native narrative internal to its national identity; â€Å"The trouble with the English is that their hiss hiss history happened overseas, so they dodo don’t know what it means’. Bhabha, p, 15) Discussion: The reluctant fundamentalist is in line with the above mentioned views. The Reluctant Fundamentalist immediately de-stabilizes the â€Å"gaze† of the West upon the Islamic World. The novel’s opening sees Changez immigrating to the United States, attending Princeton, and receiving a high-stakes and much coveted entry-level position in a New York City business cons ulting firm, Underwood Samson. It would seem that he is the living embodiment of the American Dream, having toiled endless hours for these opportunities and possessing a bright, unbounded future. However, after the terrorist attacks on 9/11, his attitude toward the United States changes, especially as he becomes the target of racism and enhanced surveillance.By the conclusion, one is unsure whether or not this conversation partner is actually a CIA assassin dispatched to Pakistan to terminate Changez. Changez, constructed as a â€Å"modern† Muslim immigrant and anti-hero, sees fit to challenge the reductive lens that casts all Muslims as religious fanatics and backwards zealots. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 43 The novel ultimately poses the interesting stance that neo-liberalism exists as its own form of fundamenta lism; the West’s utter devotion to the precepts of a laissez-faire economic policy has generated a totalizing view of the globe as a terrain to be mined and exploited.Those who do not follow this mantra can necessarily be considered a â€Å"threat,† and in this novel’s case, very much a terrorist threat. This intervention places into relief the ways in which the West might not necessarily view its own economic activities critically enough. Underwood Samson, in Changez’s view, is the clear example of the soullessness of the West. The company does not generate a purchasable product, but is yet extremely sought after for its ability to â€Å"evaluate† other companies. That is, their job epitomizes capitalism to its very core through the ability to place â€Å"value† on objects, structures, bodies or processes. Where Changez finds root is in a Pakistani culture that does not subscribe to this same system of â€Å"beliefs. Although Changezâ€⠄¢s Underwood Samson advisor, Jim, appeals to him through the sentiment that Underwood Samson cannot be conflated with American economic policies at large, the novel concludes with Changez retreating into the confines of nationalisms and discrete boundary points. For him, Underwood Samson merely operates as an appendage of American â€Å"fundamentalism,† one that must be combated through Pakistani economic independence. The Reluctant Fundamentalist is the story of a man who is surprised by the intensity of his reactions when he perceives a threat to his cultural identity. â€Å"Beware the Dark Side, young Skywalker,† a colleague tells Changez at the induction party.This is said in jest, but the Star Wars legend of a youngster who betrays his own kind for an evil Empire, in the process losing his soul and turning into a mechanical man, will uncomfortably resonate with Changez’s own integration into American life. Later in the narrative, he will BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 44 hear about the Janissaries, â€Å"the Christian boys who were captured and trained to be soldiers in a Muslim army, at that time the greatest army in the world†¦they had fought to erase their own civilizations, so they had nothing else to turn to†.These analogies will tap into his deep-rooted fears: the fear of contributing to the wealth-generation of the most powerful empire in the world even while his own country languishes in poverty and he feels like a stranger on each successive visit to Lahore. The fear of a shrinking â€Å"global world† where â€Å"global† is defined in terms of the US model. The fear of becoming, inadvertently, a foot-soldier in America’s march of progress, as a result his identity resembles that of Janissaries. And yet this young man, who would certa inly at some point have thought of himself as a citizen of the world, unconfined by narrow domestic walls, slowly becomes defensive about his identity.Early on, he has already been discomfited by little things: watching his colleagues part with large sums of money, for instance, reminds him of the poverty in his country, and on a business trip to Manila he is mortified to discover that even this (Eastern) city is so much wealthier than Lahore: I felt like a distance runner who thinks he is not doing too badly until he glances over his shoulder and sees that the fellow who is lapping him is not the leader of the pack but one of the laggards. (p. 176) But after the 9/11 attacks and the racial profiling that accompanies it, he becomes ever more conscious of the need to define himself, and this leads to disaffection with his adopted country. Changez’s dilemmas are complicated by his feelings for a girl named Erica, a fellow Princetonian; they become close but she is haunted by he rBARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 45 memories of a deceased boyfriend, and an awkward lovemaking scene shows us that Changez’s relationship with her mirrors his relationship with the US – he can possess her only by pretending to be someone he is not, by relinquishing his own sense of self. And though the book ends on an ambiguous note, refusing to divulge the extent to which Changez has traded one fundamentalism for another, we understand how an unbridgeable divide, an atmosphere of mutual distrust, can be created between cultures.In other words, Bhabha argues that cultural identities cannot be ascribed to pre-given, irreducible, scripted, a historical cultural traits that define the conventions of ethnicity. Nor can â€Å"colonizer† and â€Å"colonized† be viewed as separate entities that define t hemselves independently. Instead, Bhabha suggests that the negotiation of cultural identity involves the continual interface and exchange of cultural performances that in turn produce a mutual and mutable recognition (or representation) of cultural difference. As Bhabha argues, this â€Å"liminal† space is a â€Å"hybrid† site that witnesses the production–rather than just the reflection–of cultural meaning:The novel’s central point is the pride of the American empire which is built on the guts of finance: â€Å"Finance was a primary means by which the American empire exercised its power. † A mirror, reflecting the mutual suspicion with which America and Pakistan (or the Muslim world) look at one another. â€Å"Excuse me, sir, but may I be of assistance? Ah, I see I have alarmed you. Do not be frightened by my beard: I am a lover of America. † So begins Changez’s monologue that charts the rise and fall of this man, from Princet on University, to employment in a prestigious firm, his love for BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II.ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 46 a fellow New Yorker named Erica, to the increasing suspicion he feels after the destruction of the World Trade Centre, and the escalating conflict in his home country of Pakistan, which he watches from across the Atlantic, powerless to help. What distinguishes The Reluctant Fundamentalist is its monologue form. Changez is relating his tale to an American who may or may not be CIA and Changez may or may not be a terrorist. The duality that this text invokes is mirrored through the possibly radicalisation Changez undergoes and the loss of mind that befalls Erica.At the end of this superbly powerful narrative every character is left hanging off metaphorical and literal cliffs (or having gone over them) that one is reminded that th is is simply not a story of a rise and fall, but is concerned with events that happened after the fall, for falling is only but the beginning of one story. The study of identity is in most cases associated with considering the changes in circumstances or a one's personality. Colonies go through many changes throughout their existence. When looking at pre-colonialism, one sees the area’s original culture. Their beliefs and customs run smoothly in a functioning society. Colonialism changes everything.In almost all cases of colonialism, the norms, beliefs and cultural values of the larger power are forced upon all of the colonies natives. This is because the colonizer believes that the natives are â€Å"savages† and need to be civilized. The natives have no choice but to accept these new ways of life. The settlers' technology is more advanced and they could easily wipe out all natives who refuse to conform to the new culture. This is where the depletion of their culture b egins. Natives stop practicing their religion. In most cases they convert to Christianity, mainly because it is forced onto them. In order to communicate BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 47 ith the colonizers or the settlers, they start speaking the settlers' language. Soon enough their own is lost. After so many years of colonialism, the natives become similar to their colonizers. The colonizers control education, therefore they control the thoughts and ideas absorbed by the youth. Natives' children absorb the new culture and ideas at a young age. Because of this, the original culture is lost in new generations. The colonizer is a brute force which oppresses the natives. In the fight of this oppression, independence is fought for and a culture that has almost been forgotten is once again sought after. What is left of the ori ginal culture?The representation of these uneven and often hybrid, polyglot, multivalent cultural sites (reclaimed or discovered colonized cultures searching for identity and meaning in a complex and partially alien past) may not look very much like the representations of bourgeois culture in western art, ideologically shaped as western art is to represent its own truths (that is, guiding fictions) about itself. To quote Homi Bhabha on the complex issue of representation and meaning from his article in Greenblatt and Gun's Redrawing the Boundaries: Culture as a strategy of survival is both transnational and translational. It is transnational because contemporary ostcolonial discourses are rooted in specific histories of cultural displacement, whether they are the middle passage of slaver and indenture, the voyage out of the civilizing mission, the fraught accommodation of Third World migration to the West after the Second World War, or the traffic of economic and political refugees within and outside the Third World. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 48 Culture is translational because such spatial histories of displacement — now accompanied by the territorial ambitions of global media technologies — make the question of how culture signifies, or what is signified by culture, a rather complex issue.It becomes crucial to distinguish between the semblance and similitude of the symbols across diverse cultural experiences -literature, art, music, ritual, life, death — and the social specificity of each of these productions of meaning as they circulate as signs within specific contextual locations and social systems of value. The transnational dimension of cultural transformation — migration, diaspora, displacement, relocation – makes the process of cultural translation a co mplex form of signification. the natural(ized), unifying discourse of nation , peoples , or authentic folk tradition, those embedded myths of cultures particularity, cannot be readily referenced. The great, though unsettling, advantage of this position is that it makes you increasingly aware of the construction of culture and the invention of tradition. (P. 178)In as much as Changez can see that the United States turns to a reductive patriotism in the light of the â€Å"age of terror,† his equally resistant and myopic gaze constrains him into a perspective where the very few American individuals can be seen beyond their economic ferocity or racist jingoism. In addition, Changez’s Pakistani nationalism seems to subvert any possibility for a larger Third World sensibility that he had espoused earlier in the novel. Whereas Pakistan and Afghanistan are both likened to victims BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. IS SN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 49 in America’s â€Å"war on terror,† it seems particularly problematic that Changez does not expand his scope to include the various other â€Å"Third World† nations that have been targeted by America’s economic or military fundamentalisms.By introducing these, Hamid seems to suggest that Changez’s story acts as its own polemic toward the ways that the West can produce the so-called â€Å"terrorist† through and by false oppositions that construct the unequivocal Muslim or Arab as outsider to the nation. The novel imagines the possibility that fundamentalism has many guises, both religiously grounded and secular. The questions it thus provokes are inherently some of the most valuable elements to the current issues related to international security. Regarding the â€Å"war on terror,† Jean Baudrillard has written, â€Å"It is therefore a cla sh neither of civilizations nor of religions, and this goes far beyond Islam and America, upon which one attempts to focus the conflict in order to give oneself the illusion of a visible confrontation, and solution, by the use of force† (406). Baudrillard disrupts the binary that Changez seems most ervent to posit and in doing so, perhaps unveils a different root source for an existing conflict: But the fourth world war is elsewhere. It is what haunts all world order, all hegemonic domination. If Islam dominated the world, terrorism would rise against Islam. It is the very world itself that resists globalization (407). Born in Pakistan, educated at Princeton and currently the hottest new employee at a New York firm specialising in ruthless appraisals of ailing BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 50 companies being targeted for takeover, Changez recognises himself in the description. I was a modern-day janissary,† he observes, â€Å"a servant of the American empire at a time when it was invading a country with a kinship to mine †¦ † The recognition ( empire is doomed to failure, as the world itself is against hegemony) completes a process of inward transformation that began when he realised he was half-gladdened by the World Trade Center attacks, and it now prompts him to sabotage his own high-flying career, to give up his pursuit of the beautiful, troubled Wasp princess Erica and go back to Lahore. There, bearded and generally re-acculturated, he meets an American in a restaurant in the Old Anarkali district, and buttonholes him with his life story.The novel is his monologue: a quietly told, cleverly constructed fable of infatuation and disenchantment with America, set on the treacherous faultiness of current binary East/West relations, and finely tuned to the ironies of mutual but especially American prejudice and misrepresentation. The richest instance of the latter is in the way it plays with the idea of fundamentalism itself. From the title, and from the increasingly tense atmosphere arising between Changez and his American listener, the expectation is that Changez is moving towards the revelation that he has gone, however â€Å"reluctantly†, all the way over to the dark side of Islamic fundamentalism, and is possibly, even as he speaks, rchestrating some Daniel Pearl-like execution of his perhaps literally captive audience. But in a neat – arguably too neat – reversal, it transpires that the real fundamentalism at issue here is that of US capitalism, specifically that practised by Changez's former employer, Underwood Samson, whose motto, as they do BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Servi ces 51 their pitiless bit for globalisation, is â€Å"Focus on the fundamentals†. The subverted expectation very efficiently forces one to reconsider one's preconceptions about such words and their meanings, and a point is duly scored for relativism.Changez pithily summarises, for instance, the experience of every happy Manhattan transplant when he declares: â€Å"I was, in four and a half years, never an American; I was immediately a New Yorker. † And his figure for that city in its ominously flag-bedecked state following the 9/11 attacks – â€Å"I wondered what manner of host would sally forth from so grand a castle† – is perfect both as a visual image and as a deepening of the book's running theme in which the triumphalist militarism of the US is repeatedly mapped over the ruined glory of the old Mughal empire. To be fair, the allegory isn't as glibly intrusive as that makes it sound, but it has a stiffening effect on the narrative, shifting it from the dramatic to the essayistic.It's no great surprise to hear Changez drop his sinuously selfdeprecating manner towards the end, in favour of something more fingerwaggingly polemical: I had always resented the manner in which America conducted itself in the world; your country's constant interference in the affairs of others was insufferable. Vietnam, Korea, the straits of Taiwan †¦ (p. 179) BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 52 Assimilation is another aspect of Changeez’s identity, but as earlier discussed his identity is subjected to inevitable dichotomies.In fact assimilation is a process that presupposes contradictions. But surely it is the gist that matters; I am, after all, telling you a history, and in history, as I suspect you – an American – will agree, it is the thrust of one’s na rrative that counts, not the accuracy of one’s details. (p. 118) When Changez talks of his attempt to assimilate, the reader is struck by the dishonesty of that attempt: I attempted to act and speak, as much as my dignity would permit, more like an American. The Filipinos we worked with seemed to look up to my American colleagues, accepting them almost instinctively as members of the officer class of global business-and I wanted my share of that respect as well. (p. 5) Later, Changez seems to recognize, for the first time, how ineffectual his efforts are: Then one of my colleagues asked me a question, and when I turned to answer him, something rather strange took place. I looked at him – at his fair hair and light eyes and, most of all, his oblivious immersion in the minutiae of our work – and thought, you are so foreign. (p. 67) The book is about Changez's change or realization, which transforms him from an American financial analyst from Princeton to an indivi dual BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 53 reintroduced to his cultural identity and family.The book begins when Changez accepts a job at a valuation firm and begins a relationship with an American girl named Erica. During the story, 9-11 occurs and the IndianPakistani conflict arises. Changez sees America's global role as one of selfinterest and he feels as though he is leaving behind his natural culture and identity. The Reluctant Fundamentalist does not delve into religious fundamentalism much at all, nor does it go into any detail about criticism of the foreign policy of the United States. It focuses around Changez inner struggle, his relationship with Erica, his relationship with his work, and his continuing desire for resolution in his sense of identity.After all, it seemed to be one of the several Post-September11 novels on the themes of immigrant identity and allegiance in the context of America’s changing international relations. In addition to Changez, another haunting character in the novel is Erica, Changez’s frail American girl friend. A typical privileged American girl, Erica is different in that she has suffered a tragedy and is unable to pull herself out of it enough to let Changez in her life. Again, Erica remains somewhat of an unbelievable character until you suddenly realize that the author probably meant Erica as an allegorical representation for America ‘(I) Am Erica’ and then it all falls into place. America, caught up in its own past and struggling with its own nostalgia, is unable to accept Changez.This prompts a deepening examination of his identity, his allegiances, and his relationship with America. Parallels are implied between Muslim countries and the doomed employees of the companies Changez evaluates. The key here is not religion, but corporate ca pitalism and traumatic BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 54 economic change. Changez’s boss Jim says, â€Å"We came from places that were wasting away. † He means, on the one hand, Pakistan, and on the other, old industrial America. There’s plenty of on-target comment about American reaction to September 11th.Like this: I had always thought of America as a nation that looked forward; for the first time I was struck by its determination to look back. Living in New York was suddenly like living in a film about the Second World War; I, a foreigner, found myself staring out at a set that ought to be viewed not in Technicolour but in grainy black and white. What your fellow countrymen longed for was unclear to me – a time of unquestioned dominance? of safety? of moral certainty? I did not know – b ut that they were scrambling to don the costumes of another era was apparent. I felt treacherous for wondering whether that era was fictitious, and whether – if it could indeed be animated – it contained a part written for someone like me (p. 68).The attack on the empire makes Changez aware of America as an empire, responsible for his identity crisis. The final straw for him is when he hears someone describing the Janissaries, the Christian slaves taken as boys from their parents by the Ottoman Empire and turned into an elite warrior class to defend the sultan. Is Changez a latter-day reversed Janissary? In an effective subplot, Changez has a girlfriend who is obsessed by the memory of her dead boyfriend. In her depression, â€Å"She glowed with BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 55 something not unlike the fervo ur of the devout. †(p. 6) Themes of nostalgia and commingled, confused identities seep into other parts of the novel, where they are relevant to Changez, Pakistan, and the United States. Several other parts of the novel discuss the causes of his hybrid identity as well as his contradictory actions and reactions to the Western culture. The following points of the novel reveal Changez’ multiple identities, proving him neither belonging to the East, nor to the West: Changez’ irritation with the cultural insensitivity in the United States is one of the cases in which his identity is challenged. Changez holidays in Greece with a group of Princetonians, where he first becomes enamored with Erica.He describes behavior he observed which irritated him: The ease with which they parted with money†¦thinking nothing of the occasional – but not altogether infrequent – meal costing perhaps fifty dollars a head. Or their self-righteousness in dealing with thos e whom they had paid for a service. â€Å"But you told us,† they would say to Greeks twice their age, before insisting things be done their way. I, with my finite and depleting reserve of cash and my traditional sense of deference to one’s seniors, found myself wondering by what quirk of human history my companions – many of whom I would have regarded as upstarts in my own country, so devoid of refinement were they – were in a position to conduct themselves in the world as though they were its ruling class. (p. 27) The disturbance Changez experienced when he compared America and Pakistan Looking down on New York from his office, over a hundred meters above, BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 56 Changez realizes he is standing in a different world from Pakistan with his feet supported by â€Å"the mo st technologically advanced civilization our species had ever known. †(135) He reflects to the quiet American: Often, during my stay in your country, such comparisons troubled me. In fact, they did more than trouble me: they made me resentful.Four thousand years ago, we, the people of the Indus River basin, had cities that were laid out on grids and boasted underground sewers, while the ancestors of those who would invade and colonize America were illiterate barbarians. Now our cities were largely unplanned, unsanitary affairs, and America had universities with individual endowments greater than our national budget for education. To be reminded of this vast disparity was, for me, to be ashamed. (p. 136) Changez’ sense of humiliation at feeling the need to act like an American Changez recalls a business trip to Manila where he explains: I attempted to act and speak, as much as my dignity would permit, more like an American.The Filipinos we worked with seemed to look up t o my American colleagues, accepting them almost instinctively as members of the officer class of global business – and I wanted my share of that respect as well. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 57 So I learned to tell executives my father’s age, ‘I need it now’; I learned to cut to the front of lines with an extraterritorial smile; and I learned to answer, when asked where I was from, that I was from New York. Did these things trouble me, you ask? Certainly, sir; I was often ashamed. But outwardly I gave no sign of this. (p. 118)On this same trip he becomes particularly disoriented at receiving an openly hostile stare from the driver of a jeepney. Later when one of his American colleagues spoke to him, Changez remembers: I looked at him – at his fair hair and light eyes and, most of all, his obvious immersion in the minutiae of our work – and thought, you are so foreign. I felt in that moment much closer to the Filipino driver than to him; I felt I was play-acting when in reality I ought to be making my way home, like the people on the street outside. (p. 135) The destruction of the twin towers Changez’ sense of unease with America has already been well and truly simmering away, as the above points, all made early in the novel, make clear.This is how Changez recalls what happened as he realized what he was watching was not fiction but news: I stared as one – and then the other – of the twin towers of New York’s BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 58 World Trade Center collapsed. And then I smiled. Yes, despicable as it may sound, my initial reaction was to be remarkably pleased. C hangez sees the evident disgust in the face of his American listener and notices his large hand clenching into a fist. He then hastens to assure him that he is no sociopath, who is indifferent to the suffering of others. He admits his own sense of perplexity at his sense of pleasure at the slaughter of thousands of innocents. He reflects:But at that moment, my thoughts were not with the victims of the attack – death on television moves me most when it is fictitious and happens to characters with whom I have built up relationships over multiple episodes – no, I was caught up in the symbolism of it all, the fact that someone had so visibly brought America to her knees. (p. 110) These words only serve to intensify the displeasure of his American listener Changez challenges. Moreover attention must be paid to the fact that he cannot be completely innocent of such feelings about himself. Thus, he feels no joy at the video clips of American munitions laying waste the structu res of his enemies.Changez’s experience of being treated as a possible terrorist As soon as the team was able to Manila Changez finds himself escorted by armed guards into a room where he is made to strip down to his boxer shorts. He is the last person to board the plane and recalls: BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 59 I flew to New York uncomfortable in my own face: I was aware of being under suspicion; I felt guilty; I tried therefore to be as nonchalant as possible; this naturally led to my becoming stiff and self-conscious. (p. 99) Upon arriving back in New York he is again separated from his team at immigration and ends up being subjected to another inspection.His team didn’t wait for him , so he was forced to travel to Manhattan that evening â€Å"very much alone. † Changez’s anger at America ’s shrewd reflections of Muslim nations For two weeks after America began to bomb Afghanistan Changez avoids the evening news. Then one evening he chances â€Å"upon a newscast with ghostly night-vision images of American troops dropping into Afghanistan for what was described as a daring raid on a Taliban command post. † Changez recalls: My reaction caught me by surprise; Afghanistan was Pakistan’s neighbour, our friend, and a fellow Muslim nation besides, and the sight of what I took to be the beginning of its invasion by your countrymen caused me to tremble with fury. 58) Changez also bristles at the stereotypical and imperialistic manner in which American television cast Pakistanis, without any respect shown for their proud history: BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 60 For we were not always burdened b y debt, dependent on foreign aid and handouts; in the stories we tell of ourselves we were not the crazed and destitute radicals you see on your television channels but rather saints and poets and – yes – conquering kings. We built the Royal Mosque and the Shalimar Gardens in this city, and we built the Lahore Fort with its mighty walls and wide ramp for our battle-elephants.And we did these things when your country was still a collection of thirteen small colonies, gnawing away at the edge of a continent. (p. 60) Changez’ growing need to assert his own identity Returning to America, following his trip back to Lahore, Changez, despite knowing the difficulties it might pose at immigration, resolves to keep his beard: It was, perhaps, a form of protest on my part, a symbol of my identity, or perhaps I sought to remind myself of the reality I had just left behind; I do not now recall my precise motivations. I know only that I did not wish to blend in with the army of clean-shaven youngsters who were my co-workers, and that inside me, for multiple reasons, I was deeply angry. 134) Back in America he finds that his beard does make him an object of verbal abuse by complete strangers and an object of suspicion in the workplace, but refuses to shave it off. BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 61 Changez’ decision to distance himself from American imperialism on the plane back to New York he now realizes: I had always resented the manner in which America conducted itself in the world; your country’s constant interference in the affairs of others was insufferable. Vietnam, Korea, the straits of Taiwan, the Middle East, and now Afghanistan: in each of the major conflicts and standoffs that ringed my mother continent of Asia, America played a central role.Moreover I knew from my expe rience as a Pakistani – of alternating periods of American aid and sanctions – that finance was a primary means by which the American empire exercised its power. It was right for me to refuse to participate any longer in facilitating this project of domination; the only surprise was that I had required so much time to arrive at my decision. As a result of the discovery of the America’s true intentions and ill-natured cultural identity, he decides to distance himself from the imperialism. Moreover; he feels responsible to inform people, even the ignorant ones in America, of the true driving forces behind their policies and the US led wars and campaigns against the third world countries. Changez sees America’s post 9/11 actions as an engagement only in posturing He confronts his American listener:BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 62 As a society, you were unwilling to reflect upon the shared pain that united you with those who attacked you. You retreated into myths of your own difference, assumptions of your own superiority. And you acted out these beliefs on the stage of the world, so that the entire planet was rocked by the repercussions of your tantrums, not least my family, now facing war thousands of miles away. Such an America had to be stopped in the interests not only of the rest of humanity, but also in your own.Changez becoming active in stirring up anti-America sentiment as another reflection of his identity. Now having secured a position as a university lecturer he makes it his mission on campus â€Å"to advocate a disengagement from your country by mine. † He discovers that it was not difficult to persuade his students to participate in demonstrations for greater independence in Pakistan’s domestic and international affairs. He observes that such demon strations were labeled by the foreign press as anti-American. Changez claims no inside knowledge of an alleged attempt on the part of one of his students to assassinate a coordinator of an American effort to provide development assistance to Pakistan’s rural poor.Conclusion It has been suggested that globalization is a myth and that what is actually taking place is the spread of American values, power and products across the globe. Globalization is not a myth and that far from a backlash against BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 63 American hegemony, many other peoples, state and businesses are modeling themselves on America. Most people, for whom Changeez stands as an example, who examine the effects of globalization, recognize that it is having both cultural and economic impacts everywhere its forces are manifested.Wh ile no one denies the significance of economic globalization impacts, it may well be that the cultural effects of this process ultimately exert a far greater impact on the world. Skillfully, the novel has played out the fear, suspicion and hatred that now characterizes American-Muslim relations. It does this particularly by building up the tension between the quiet American and a hostile, intimidating waiter who comes from a tribe with spans both sides of the border with neighboring Pakistan. The novel will finish with this hostility being brought to an undisclosed conclusion, just as the end of the story of American-Muslim conflict remains to be written. As the book moves to this open ending, Changez comments:It seems an obvious thing to say, but you should not imagine that we Pakistanis are all potential terrorists, just as we should not imagine that you Americans are all undercover assassins. The important thing about this book is not so much whether the reader agrees with this c ritique of America or not. What this novel does show is how anti-America feeling might develop and indicates various key factors that may shape such perspectives and identities. In particular, it is crucial to avoid stereotypes that simplistically presume that anti-Americanism on the part of a Muslim must be produced by Islamic indoctrination. This novel BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. om/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 64 demonstrates that it is possible for a Muslim to develop contempt for America on substantially non-religious grounds. Not long before 9/11, Changez considered New York the seat of the American empire, a civilization whose awe-inspiring achievements surpassed even the greatness of Mt. Everest. Now, Changez sees New York as separate from America, because America has taken on a new meaning. It is no longer a great, cutting-edge civilization. Wh en Changez deplanes after his flight from Valparaiso, he sees New York as an imperial city of old: â€Å"I was struck by how traditional your empire appeared.Armed sentries manned the check post at which I sought entry; being of a suspect race I was quarantined and subjected to additional inspection; once admitted I hired a charioteer who belonged to a serf class lacking the requisite permissions to abide legally and forced therefore to accept work at lower pay; I myself was a form of indentured servant whose right to remain was dependent upon the continued benevolence of my employer. † (157) Once Changez realizes that the American empire is like any other, he also understands that his supposed privileges—his job, his apartment, his expense account—are really the chains that bind him in service to America.Quite opposite from â€Å"the most technologically advanced civilization† in history, it is no better for him than the British Empire was for those of l ow caste. Hamid uses the predator/prey dichotomy to cultivate a relationship of mutual suspicion between Changez and the American. It is unclear which of them is BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services 65 the predator and which of them is the prey, or whether the danger is only perceived and not actual. Bibliography Ania Loomba, Colonialism-Postcolonialism, www. wikipedia. org accessed May/10/2011. Baudrillard, Jean. â€Å"L'Esprit du Terrorisme. † The South Atlantic Quarterly. 101. 2 (Spring 2002): 403-415.David Punter, Postcolonial Imaginings: Fictions of a New World Order Edward Said, Orientalism; Culture and Imperialism Fanon, â€Å"The Wretched of the Earth†, NATC, p. 1587. G Spivak, The Postcolonial Critic Hamid, Mohsin. The Reluctant Fundamentalist. New York, NY: Harcourt, 2007. Homi K. Bhabha, The Location of C ulture; Nation and Narration John McLeod, Beginning Postcolonialism P. Williams and L. Chrisman (eds), Colonial Discourse and Post-Colonial Theory Timothy Brennan, Salman Rushdie and the Third World About the Author – Daryoosh Hayati- Department of English, Lamerd Branch. Islamic Azad University, Iran. [email  protected] ac. ir BARNOLIPI – An Interdisciplinary Journal – Volume – II. Issue – II. ISSN 2249 –2666 www. reflectionedu. com/barnolipi. php  © REFLECTION Mentoring Services

Succubus Heat CHAPTER 11

Cody asked the obvious question. â€Å"So†¦if he's gone †¦how did that happen?† Hugh rubbed his eyes. â€Å"He was summoned.† â€Å"Oh, shit,† said Peter. His fun-in-the-sun joy disappeared. He looked as grim as Hugh and me. â€Å"That changes everything.† I glanced between him and Hugh, feeling as naà ¯ve as Cody. â€Å"What's that mean exactly? I've heard of summoning, but that's about it. I don't know any specifics. I don't know anyone it's happened to.† Peter nodded. â€Å"Me either, but I know what it is. Basically, a powerful human calls and binds a demon to his or her will. That human can then imprison and control the demon.† â€Å"Like Marlowe's Dr. Faustus .† We all turned to stare at Cody. Citing highbrow literary references was usually my thing, not his. â€Å"What?† he asked, looking uncomfortable under our scrutiny. â€Å"I had to read it in high school.† I looked back at Peter. â€Å"Okay, we're immortal, and we could never even scratch a demon. How could a human control one?† â€Å"Humans who use magic wield a different kind of power than immortals. Besides, from what I've heard, those who summon demons often have help,† explained Peter. He glanced at Hugh for confirmation. â€Å"From another demon,† the imp said. â€Å"Whoa. Let's go back to the part about controlling demons. What exactly is this human making Jerome do?† asked Cody. â€Å"Probably nothing,† said Hugh. â€Å"Or else someone would have found him by now. My guess is he's just being hidden.† Cody frowned. â€Å"Why? If you've got a pet demon, why not use him? Otherwise, what's the point?† It all came together now. â€Å"To get him out of the picture,† I said slowly. â€Å"That's it. The final piece in all this weird demon intrigue. That's what all the misdirection was building toward.† â€Å"Right. Cedric gets rid of Jerome, and suddenly there's an opening in Seattle for a new archdemon. And if Jerome doesn't return soon, they will get a new archdemon and reestablish the hierarchy here.† Hugh gestured to all of us. â€Å"The status quo will resume.† â€Å"Let's stick to ‘when' he returns and not ‘if,'† I said. â€Å"And I don't think Cedric's behind it.† â€Å"Of course Cedric's behind it,† said Hugh. â€Å"They've been fighting over territory, right? You of all people should know that.† I shook my head, recalling Cedric's exasperation and Nanette's smug look. â€Å"No†¦I think Cedric's being set up here. If you ask me, it's Nanette who's behind it.† I gave them a quick recap of my observations of her with both Cedric and Jerome. Hugh arched an eyebrow. â€Å"Portland Nanette? She's hot, I'll give you that, but she's not that strong.† â€Å"All the more reason for her to mess with Jerome and Cedric. She's been worried about them dragging her into their turf war. Besides, if she combined her power with a human capable of a summoning†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Yeah,† he admitted. â€Å"She could maybe do it†¦but that doesn't mean she did. My money's still on Cedric.† â€Å"Wouldn't she get in trouble for that?† asked Cody. â€Å"Only if she's caught,† said Peter. I sighed. â€Å"And in the meantime, this is bad for Jerome.† â€Å"Glad to see your powers of stating the obvious didn't disappear with your shape-shifting,† remarked Hugh. I shot him a glare. â€Å"I mean reputation-wise. Nanette told me lots of people have been keeping an eye on Jerome because of all the stuff that's gone down here-particularly with letting nephilim escape. They think he can't keep control. Even if he surfaces tomorrow, I've got to imagine that getting summoned in the first place won't look good.† â€Å"It won't,† agreed Hugh. â€Å"In fact, that's the other reason I stopped by. A bunch of demons are having a meeting tonight to talk about replacing him. Back room of the Cellar at seven.† â€Å"Wow, they move fast,† said Cody. â€Å"It's nothing official. Once word got out that Jerome was gone, every demon maneuvering for power moved in like that.† Hugh snapped his fingers. I refrained from pointing out that all demons were maneuvering for power as a general rule. â€Å"They're mostly just here to assert themselves-show how tough they are, cozy up to Grace and Mei. They might try to schmooze us a little, actually.† â€Å"Why? We don't have any say in this,† said Peter. He glanced between us all. â€Å"Do we?† â€Å"No, but eventually someone from Management will come here to size up the situation and will talk to us in their assessment. Everything plays a part. Those wanting the position will strut around, show how they could keep this place in line, and put their bids in.† â€Å"Is Nanette going to be at this meeting?† I asked suspiciously. â€Å"Yes,† said Hugh, eyeing me. â€Å"And so will Cedric.† I eyed him right back. â€Å"I'm telling you, it's not Cedric. I'm certain of it.† â€Å"What, you have donuts with him for a week, and now you guys are BFF?† â€Å"No, but I know him better than you do. And I think I understand Nanette better than you too,† I shot back. â€Å"So, you guys†¦Ã¢â‚¬  began Cody, a questioning note in his voice. â€Å"Are you sleeping with Cedric?† Hugh demanded. â€Å"Are you playing both sides now?† â€Å"No!† â€Å"It kind of sounds like it.† â€Å"You guys,† repeated Cody. â€Å"Look,† I said, â€Å"you just want to believe Nanette's innocent because you think she's hot.† â€Å"She is hot. For a demon.† â€Å"You guys!† yelled Cody. We turned to him. â€Å"What about us?† â€Å"What about us?† I asked. â€Å"What are we?† Cody's face was pinched and worried. Like Peter, he no longer seemed that excited about his newfound freedom. â€Å"Are we human?† I opened my mouth to answer and then fell silent. I honestly didn't know. Hugh glanced at me and shrugged. â€Å"Not exactly,† said Peter. â€Å"I think we're kind of†¦in stasis. We're neither mortal nor immortal.† â€Å"We have to be one or the other,† argued Hugh. â€Å"There's no purgatory equivalent to mortality.† Peter shrugged. â€Å"Hell's still got the lease on our souls. That's not going to change, no matter who our archdemon is. Removing him from the equation cuts us off from the abilities we get with immortality, but that's temporary.† â€Å"But does it cut us off from immortality itself?† asked Cody. â€Å"Can we die?† Silence fell. â€Å"Shit,† said Hugh. â€Å"I think†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Peter bit his lip. I had a feeling he was at the end of his knowledge on this subject. â€Å"I think they'd bring us back if we did.† â€Å"You think ?† asked Cody incredulously. Peter threw up his hands. â€Å"I don't know! This has never happened to me before, okay? Maybe we are human. Maybe we can get sick. Maybe we can lose in a fight. Maybe Georgina'll get her period. I don't know, okay?† â€Å"Whoa,† I said, straightening up. â€Å"What do you mean-â€Å" â€Å"Just stop it, all of you,† exclaimed Hugh. â€Å"We're not going to figure any of this out right now. Just go to the meeting and find out there. Grace and Mei are trying to manage things for now, and they'll know what's up. No point in panicking now.† We sat there, and I knew that despite his words, we were all indeed panicking. My stomach was rolling, but this time, it wasn't a reaction to the severing of my bond with Hell. This was born of pure terror. When things were bad in my life-particularly after Seth and I had broken up-there had been times when I'd hated immortality. Death had sounded appealing. I honestly hadn't been able to fathom how I could endure the centuries to come and had envied the finite life spans of humans. But now? Faced with the idea that I could actually die? Suddenly, desperately, I wanted to cling to my immortality with every scrap of my strength. Death was bleak, dark, and frightening. All the world's dangers descended on me at once, all the things I'd hitherto been able to ignore. Car accidents. Electrocution. Bird flu. The world was no longer safe. If the vampires felt any such fears, they apparently decided it wasn't going to get in the way of their last few days as free men. They rose as one and made motions to leave. â€Å"Well, if Jerome's going to get replaced with or without us, then there's no point sitting and moping,† said Peter. â€Å"We got cut off without warning,† I told him. â€Å"We could get reconnected to Hell's circuit board just as suddenly, you know. Aren't you a little nervous about getting caught out in the sun?† â€Å"They're not going to make any decisions in the next five hours,† said Peter brashly-too brashly, I thought. He paused a moment, his gaze drifting to my window and the blue sky beyond it. There, in his dark eyes, I saw the tiniest, tiniest bit of longing. It occurred to me then just how much he must have missed the sun these last thousand years or so. Like the rest of us, he'd willingly sold his soul for immortality. Along with that, he'd gotten superhuman strength and speed in exchange for a dependency on blood, a denial of sunlight, and a job as a dispenser of fear and nightmares. I certainly had regrets about my hellish deal some days; no doubt he did too. And maybe, despite his lax, overconfident attitude about the sun, he truly was aware of the risk of getting fried-and thought it was worth it after all this time. He and Cody left, leaving me and a still bleak-looking Hugh. I gently touched the imp's shoulder. â€Å"I'm sure this'll work out.† He cut me a wry look. â€Å"Really?† I laughed softly. â€Å"No, not really. I'm just trying to make you feel better. I never realized before how much you liked your†¦what would you call it? Imp vision?† This finally got him to smile. â€Å"You always thought of me as a paper pusher?† â€Å"Nah, no one uses paper anymore. It's all electronic.† â€Å"Not in Hell,† he said, standing up. â€Å"They kind of like cutting down forests.† I followed him to the door. â€Å"Well, hang in there, and I'll see you tonight.† â€Å"What are you going to do with your newfound freedom?† he asked, hand on the doorknob. I frowned. â€Å"What do you mean? This whole thing isn't quite the same for you and me as it is for the vampires.† The look Hugh gave me then was genuinely amused and almost pitying. â€Å"Georgina. Your shape-shifting and other abilities are fueled by human life. If you can't do those things, then you don't need the energy-just like Cody and Hugh don't need blood. Can't you feel it? The whole system's probably shut off.† I froze and almost stopped breathing for a moment-which might not have been so wise in my current state. † What ?† He laughed again. â€Å"How could you have not considered that?† â€Å"Well†¦because I was more focused on the entire fabric of Seattle's demonic hierarchy being unraveled. That and the possibility that we could all die.† Inside, my mind was replaying his words over and over, like a record that kept skipping: You don't need the energy, you don't need the energy†¦ I shook my head. â€Å"I can't believe that. It isn't possible.† I'd wanted it for too long, the ability to be with someone without the dire side effects. It was one of those things you always longed for but knew, deep down inside, could never happen. Like winning the lottery. Or, um, living forever. â€Å"Neither is a vampire going into the sun,† said Hugh. â€Å"Yet here we are.† He leaned down and kissed my cheek. â€Å"Think about it. This is a once in a lifetime-er, eternity-chance.† He started to leave, and then something I'd nearly forgotten about popped back into the forefront of my mind. â€Å"Hugh? Did you get my message earlier? About the Canadian Satanists?† After everything else, a few signs on the Space Needle suddenly seemed absurdly unimportant. â€Å"Yeah,† he said, with a grimace. â€Å"They had a huge spectacle there, freaked people out. They made the news and got arrested. Not sure what'll happen now. The international thing makes it all interesting.† â€Å"Were you able to tell Jerome?† â€Å"No, couldn't get a hold of him-not surprising if that was near the time of the summoning. I ended up getting a hold of Mei, and I think she did something to minimize how much the media found out. She was hoping that nobody in Management would notice.† â€Å"Yeah, well, they're all noticing us now.† Hugh's face was hard as he nodded his agreement. â€Å"That's an understatement. Have fun, sweetie.† He departed, leaving me standing there and staring at the door. I was still breathing heavily, my heart thudding in my chest. I needed to calm down and think this through. After all, who knew what could happen if I had a panic attack? Would I go into cardiac arrest or something? All bets were off now. Anything was possible. I sank down to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself, and focused on slowing my breathing. This was all too surreal. I couldn't process it. It wasn't possible that I could be mortal. It wasn't possible that I could die. It wasn't possible that I could actually touch a man without harming him. Over and over I told myself those things. Meanwhile, Aubrey strolled over to me and rubbed her head against my leg. Reaching out, I stroked her back, barely aware of my actions. What was I going to do? We had five hours until the meeting, which couldn't come soon enough as far as I was concerned. I needed answers now . I couldn't live with this uncertainty. My heart started racing again. Fuck. I really was going to have a heart attack. Hugh was a doctor in his day job; maybe I should call him about my blood pressure. Call†¦ An idea hit me then, and I stood up to go find my purse. Producing my cell phone, I dialed Dante. If anyone might know about this, it would be him. He probably wouldn't know the intricacies of how this affected my infernal standing, but he had to know something about demon summoning. Dark magic was his specialty. Besides, I wanted more than just his expertise. I suddenly just wanted†¦well, comfort. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to hold me and reassure me. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be okay. But the phone rang and rang without answer, sending me to his voice mail's friendly message: â€Å"Talk.† So much for that plan. I disconnected and leaned against my counter. Slowly, steadily, I felt my brain waking up, trying to find a scrap of reason through my fear. It wasn't in my nature to be passive. I had to do something about this. I couldn't wait until tonight for answers. â€Å"Let's research this ourselves, Aubrey,† I said. The average human knew nothing about the true nature of Heaven and Hell and how we operated. Yet, every once in a while, if you looked hard enough into arcane writings, you could stumble across a piece of truth that some adept mortal had uncovered. Ninety-nine percent of what I'd find would be inaccurate, but an Internet search could uncover some grain of truth about demon summoning. It was a total long shot, but it was the best I could do for now. Only, when I went to get my laptop, I discovered an unfortunate fact: I'd left it at the bookstore. I groaned. Now what? Another plan shot down. You idiot , a voice inside me chastised. You're a few blocks away. Get off your ass and get it . That logic made perfect sense, of course. Until I looked out the window. The same fear I'd had earlier returned. The cars moving along Queen Anne Avenue seemed too fast, the wind stirring the trees too strong, the people on the sidewalk too dangerous. How could I go out there? How could I put myself at risk? Better to stay in here where it was safe. And yet†¦how could I wait around? I was going to go crazy if I sat here. Glancing down at Aubrey, I saw her watching me with her green eyes. She had that infinitely wise look cats had sometimes. It wasn't exactly encouraging, but it soothed me a little. Okay. I could do this. I found my coat and started to shape-shift my messy hair into a neat arrangement-except, of course, I immediately realized I couldn't shape-shift it. Not a problem, I assured myself. I did my hair all the time when I wasn't in a rush. This was no different. With a quick dash to the restroom, I brushed my hair into a sleek ponytail and prepared to face the world. Stepping outdoors, I was blasted with stimuli. I stood on the steps to my building, shell-shocked and unable to move. This had never happened to me. Never, never had I been afraid of the world. I'd always rejoiced in it and been eager to see what it had to offer. Slipping my hand into my purse, I reached for my cigarettes, seeking them like a safety blanket. When I took them out, I realized something else. I wasn't necessarily immune to them anymore. This stasis probably wouldn't last long†¦but how could I risk it? How could I expose myself to carcinogens when I had no idea how vulnerable I truly was? Putting the cigarettes back, I took a deep breath and plunged forward. The distance to the store was barely three blocks, but it felt like miles. I walked as far away as I could from traffic and flinched each time someone passed me. When I finally reached the intersection to cross over to Emerald City, I was sweating. Queen Anne Avenue is not an overly crazy road. This particular spot had three lanes and steady traffic, with a moderate speed of 30 (which meant people could usually be found going 35?C40). Nonetheless, standing there, I might as well have been trying to cross I-5 itself, with five lanes racing in each direction. The crosswalk was red, giving me time to build up courage and remind myself that I'd crossed here hundreds of times-jaywalking more often than not. I was being irrational, freaking out at things I had no business worrying about. The light dinged and gave me the go-ahead. I set out, each step agony. I'd almost reached the far curb when a Honda turning on red from the cross street suddenly pulled into the intersection, having only checked for cars and not pedestrians. Seeing me, the driver slammed on her brakes a bit more harshly than she probably needed. They squealed, and the car came to a stop about two feet from me. While moderately alarming, this wasn't anything that probably would have scared me too much under ordinary circumstances. The car had stopped, after all, and I was almost across anyway. Yet, I was so on edge already that when I heard the brakes and saw how close she was, I simply froze. I stood there, caught-literally-in the headlights. I couldn't think or move. It was so stupid. Seven more steps, and I would have been safe. The woman's panic over avoiding me turned to annoyance when she realized I was blocking her way. She pressed down on her horn, which was a particularly loud and obnoxious one. Unfortunately for her, it was ineffectual. If anything, the noise simply froze me up more. Suddenly, someone grabbed a hold of my arm and started tugging me to the curb. The bitch in the Honda kept honking, and I think I was nearly as startled by it as I was when Seth yelled to her, â€Å"Oh, shut up already!† His steady hands guided me to the sidewalk where I promptly froze up again, oblivious to the curious cars and pedestrians. Cupping my face, he forced me to look up at him. His eyes were like warm molasses, and something about them spread comfort through me and brought me back to myself. â€Å"Georgina, are you okay?† My whole body trembled, and it took me a moment to gather myself and speak. â€Å"I†¦I think so†¦Ã¢â‚¬  His voice was so, so gentle when he spoke. â€Å"What happened there?† I blinked back tears. â€Å"Nothing†¦that is†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I couldn't finish. I was going to break down, then and there, right on Queen Anne Avenue. I hated myself for being so weak and scared. â€Å"Never mind,† said Seth, taking hold of my arm again. â€Å"It doesn't matter. You're safe. Let's go inside.† If any of my co-workers saw Seth leading me through like an invalid, I didn't notice. In fact, I was barely aware of the trek at all until we were inside my office. Seth sat me down and then shut the door. He leaned down toward me. â€Å"Do you need anything? Water? Something to eat?† Slowly, almost robot-like, I shook my head. â€Å"N-no. I†¦I just came for my laptop.† The normal look of timidity he'd worn around me lately had vanished, replaced by something stern and concerned-something that wouldn't rest until he knew I was okay. He was no longer the shy author who feared looking at me and always gave me a wide berth. He was once again the man I'd dated, the man who'd always been able to read my moods and step up to help. â€Å"Georgina, please. Please tell me what happened.† It looked as though my tears were going to stay away, and now that I was indoors, in familiar territory, I allowed myself to feel a little braver. â€Å"Why are you being so nice to me again?† He frowned. â€Å"Why wouldn't I be nice to you?† â€Å"Because†¦because†¦I wasn't very nice to you the last time we talked. Even after you gave me the book.† He made a noise in his throat, almost like a laugh, but not quite. â€Å"You weren't yourself, not after all those drinks. It's fine.† â€Å"I don't know,† I said contrarily, â€Å"maybe I was myself.† He shook his head. â€Å"It wouldn't matter. Now tell me, what happened out there?† The warmth in his voice, the concern†¦it was tearing me apart. There was something so familiar and safe about him that I longed for right now, and I couldn't evade him. â€Å"It's†¦complicated,† I said at last. â€Å"Immortal intrigue?† I nodded, feeling tears well in my eyes again. Fuck. I think half of my emotion now was from the way he was looking at me and had nothing to do with the rest of my life's madness. I stood up and looked away, hoping he wouldn't see my face, but it was no use. â€Å"Georgina, what's happened? You're scaring me.† I dared a glance back. â€Å"You†¦you wouldn't believe me if I told you.† His face was still filled with worry, but the hint of a smile turned up the edges of his lips. â€Å"Can you seriously believe that after half the stuff I've seen you go through? Try me.† â€Å"Fair enough,† I admitted. â€Å"But I don't want to get you involved.† â€Å"I want to help,† he said, moving closer. His voice was like velvet, wrapping me up in softness and security. â€Å"Please. Tell me what's going on.† I wanted to tell him there was nothing he could do, but suddenly, words spilled from my lips. â€Å"Jerome got summoned-which means he's trapped somewhere and-â€Å" â€Å"Whoa, wait. Summoned? Like in Dr. Faustus ?† â€Å"Um, yeah. And so long as he's gone, we're all in this weird state. Peter calls it ‘stasis.' None of us have our pow-abilities anymore. I can't shape-shift. Hugh can't see souls. The only ones who are happy about this are the vampires because they can go in the sun again, which'll probably end up killing them. And if we don't find Jerome soon, someone else is going to take over here, and I really don't want that. And yet†¦I really don't want to go another second like this either, being in this limbo. I want everything to go back to how it was.† Seth's face was unreadable as he regarded me for several heavy seconds. Finally, he said, â€Å"Is it†¦is it so bad going without shape-shifting?† I shook my head and began to ramble further. â€Å"It's not that. It's the fact that I may not be immortal anymore. I can't†¦I can't handle that. Coming here was horrible. The walk from my apartment. I'm afraid of everything. It's stupid. I mean, you guys-humans-get by all the time and don't think about it. But I'm scared to leave the house. Scared of what could happen to me. And when that car didn't see me right away-fuck. I just froze. I was paralyzed. God, I feel like an idiot. I must sound crazy.† At long last, a tear leaked out of the corner of one eye, the final stamp on my weakness. Seth reached out and gently wiped it away. He didn't withdraw his hand when finished, though. He slid it to my shoulder and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest, swallowing back more tears as I sank into the protection he offered. â€Å"Georgina, Georgina,† he murmured, running his hand over my back. â€Å"It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay.† Those words†¦there was something so wonderful about them, simple as they were. When people are distressed, others have an instinct to want to actually do something tangible to help-men in particular. And there's nothing wrong with that-often, it's very much desired. But what a lot of people don't get is that sometimes, all that's needed is to hear those words: Everything's going to be okay . It's enough to know that someone's there, that someone cares about you. It isn't always about the next logical course of action. My next words, spoken into his Hong Kong Phooey shirt, came out muffled. â€Å"I don't know what's going to happen. With any of this. I'm so scared. I don't think I've been this afraid since I thought Roman was going to kill me.† â€Å"Nothing will happen to you. You said yourself this won't last more than a few days. Just wait it out.† â€Å"I don't wait very well.† He laughed and leaned his cheek against my forehead. â€Å"I know you don't. Don't worry. Most of us do far more dangerous things than walk two blocks, and we survive just fine. Yeah, that car kind of sucked, but even still, nothing happened.† â€Å"It's two and a half blocks,† I corrected. â€Å"Not two.† â€Å"Right. I forgot that extra half one where the sharks and land mines are.† I pulled away slightly so that I could look into his face. His arms stayed around me. â€Å"I have to find Jerome, Seth.† His smile faded. The worry returned. â€Å"Georgina†¦if you want to stay safe, going after him probably isn't the way to do it. You don't always have to take this stuff on yourself, you know. Let someone else look for him. Stay home.† â€Å"That's the thing†¦I'm not sure anyone will be looking for him. Why would the other demons want him back? They want his territory. They aren't going to be happy if he's found.† Seth sighed. â€Å"Great. Now I'm the one worried about you leaving the house.† â€Å"Hey, I thought you said everything was going to be okay?† â€Å"Gotta be careful what I say.† Eyes thoughtful, he reached up and smoothed some hair on the side of my head. â€Å"Why are you so brave?† I scoffed. â€Å"Are you insane? Didn't you just witness my near breakdown?† â€Å"No,† he said gently. â€Å"That's the thing. You are scared. You don't know what's going on or what could happen to you. Yet, in spite of that fear and uncertainty, you're going to throw yourself out there to hunt him down. No one else would do that, and you do that kind of thing all the time.† Inexplicably, I flushed under his praise. â€Å"I was only going to do a Web search.† â€Å"You know what I mean. I think you've got more courage than anyone I know-and what's truly amazing is that it's so subtle, hardly anyone ever notices. You do so much, and it goes unseen. I wish I was that brave sometimes.† â€Å"You are,† I said, growing increasingly unsettled by our proximity. I also noticed then that he was still smoothing my hair back. â€Å"What are you doing to my hair? Does it look bad or something?† â€Å"Your hair never looks bad.† He dropped his hand sheepishly. â€Å"It's just†¦a little messier than usual.† â€Å"I brushed it fifteen minutes ago!† Seth shrugged. â€Å"I don't know. It's just kind of frizzy, but that's probably normal. There's a little humidity out.† â€Å"Frizzy? My hair's never frizzy.† â€Å"Georgina,† he said wearily. â€Å"Considering everything else going on, I don't think you need to worry about your hair being frizzy.† â€Å"Yeah, yeah. You're right.† I made a face. â€Å"I just feel like I got a raw deal here. The vampires are having a non-stop party. Me? I somehow get bad hair. Not sure the energy break is really worth it.† Seth tilted his head, face puzzled once more. â€Å"Energy break?† â€Å"Yeah. Along with everything else, I lost the need for life energy, so I'm not-â€Å" I stopped. The world stopped. I met Seth's eyes, those beautiful golden-brown eyes that were filled with utter and complete shock as we both realized the full weight of what I had been about to say. His hold on me stiffened. The casual embrace suddenly became so much more. I was acutely aware of every place we were touching and exactly how much distance was between the places we weren't touching. He felt warm, so wonderfully warm, and every place he touched me tingled-not necessarily in a sexual way but in a Oh my God, it's Seth way. My entire body was on full alert, waiting and watching-and hoping-for him to touch me more. He swallowed, eyes still wide. â€Å"So you aren't†¦I mean you can†¦Ã¢â‚¬  â€Å"Yeah,† I said, my own voice husky. â€Å"That's the theory, at least. I haven't really tested it†¦Ã¢â‚¬  My words faded off because they didn't matter. My relationship with Seth had been plagued with a hundred small problems, everything from communication to trust and the myriad details in between. And always, always underneath that had been the knowledge that we could never be physically close. Oh, we'd been able to hug and do some kissing-there was even a fair amount of tongue we could get away with before my succubus hunger started stealing his life. But ultimate intimacy? Sex? Making love? It was totally off-limits, and that denial had tortured both of us, no matter how much we talked about love being the most important part in a relationship. And now†¦here we were. Those barriers were removed. I hadn't tested if my succubus stealing really was gone, but I didn't need to. I could feel it, as Hugh had said. The perpetual craving that always lurked within me was completely dormant. I could touch and kiss anyone without restraint. I could touch and kiss Seth. There was nothing standing between us now. Well, except for one thing. A knock sounded on my door. â€Å"Georgina? Are you in there?† Maddie called. It was like cold water in the face. Seth and I sprang apart. He backed toward the door, and I promptly sat down at my desk. My heart was pounding again. Damn it. I was going to have to talk to Hugh and get an anti-anxiety drug. â€Å"Yeah, come in,† I called. Maddie stuck her head in, surprised to see both of us. â€Å"There you are,† she said to Seth. â€Å"I just got here and couldn't find you.† Seth was still in shock. â€Å"I†¦yeah†¦I saw Georgina was here and stopped by†¦Ã¢â‚¬  Maddie peered at me. â€Å"You okay? You look a little worn out.† Her eyes flicked to my hair and then back to my face. â€Å"Did you just wake up?† Apparently, I no longer looked like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, which was something. I hadn't liked the way she eyed my hair. â€Å"Well, not exactly. It's, uh, been a long day.† I stumbled over my words. I was so flustered, I could barely string a coherent response together. Seth's presence was like the sun, blinding me and warming me all over, and Maddie was making me feel guilty and dirty for enjoying that sun. â€Å"Is everything okay with your family?† she asked. â€Å"My-oh, yeah, they're okay. Still just a little crazy, but it'll, um, pass.† I stood and picked up the laptop, hoping I sounded casual and calm. I needed to get out before I said something stupid. As it was, I couldn't even make eye contact with Seth now. â€Å"I really just came by for this.† Maddie studied me a few seconds longer and must have decided I was more or less telling the truth. She relaxed and seemed oblivious to me trying frantically to get to the door. â€Å"Hey,† she said, â€Å"I was thinking you might not need to go to California for beaches.† â€Å"For†¦what?† â€Å"Remember our conversation at Mark's?† â€Å"Er, yeah.† Miraculously, I did. The condo thing, when I told her I had a beach itch. â€Å"I have the perfect solution: Alki.† â€Å"Alki?† asked Seth, confused. â€Å"It's a secret.† She winked at me. â€Å"I thought that might be a good place to start looking. What do you think?† â€Å"Sure. Sounds great.† Alki Beach was a region of West Seattle that stuck out into Puget Sound. While it was a far cry from a Cyprian beach, it was, well, a beach. And if agreeing that it was a good idea would get me to the door†¦ â€Å"Cool! And what about dancing?† â€Å"Huh? What about it?† I probably looked like a deer in the headlights again. This agitated state of mine didn't make for good topic-jumping. â€Å"Teaching salsa. I mentioned it to Beth and Casey, and they were pretty excited.† â€Å"Oh. Yeah. Sure. I can do that.† I was seriously about to agree to anything to escape. Her face lit up. â€Å"Oh, thank you! Is this week too soon? I bet we could get everyone together on, oh, Thursday.† â€Å"Sure, sure, that's fine.† I was almost at the door. â€Å"Oh, thank you! This'll be fun. I'll double-check the day with everyone and e-mail you. If something comes up†¦I mean, I know you're under a lot of stress†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I waved it off. â€Å"It's fine, really. Have a good night, okay?† I put on a winning smile and quickly walked past both of them. As I stepped out the door, though, I glanced back and met Seth's eyes. My smile faltered. A thousand messages passed between us, just as they used to when we were dating. Only this time, I wasn't sure what any of them were saying. I kept walking, suddenly realizing I had a lot more than mortality to worry about.